Motion Picture Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Title: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Format: RealD 3D

General movie information (cast, synopsis, MPAA rating, etc.) can be found at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1583421/

Allow me to begin this review by saying that I have been a G.I. Joe fan for pretty well my entire life, since I was a baby. I'm 31 years old and if you add the years up, that's a long time to be a fan, nearly an entire lifetime. From the comics to the cartoons, and even into the toys (naturally) and now the live-action films, I've followed Duke, Hawk, Sgt. Slaughter, Destro, Zartan and the rest of the Joe and Cobra crews throughout the entirety (though I cannot say I'm an expert, far from it in fact), and as such I expect a lot of things – as any real fan should – of these kinds of adaptations, primarily continuity. I'm a huge stickler for continuity, and quite frankly, when it really comes down to it, we deserve such things to be well-preserved and incorporated. It just makes complete sense to do so, right? Right. Anyway, without further ado, I present my own personal review for G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

At the beginning of the film, we start out with some of the most pivotal Joes on a mission to retrieve a fellow-Joe from a Cobra operative base. Duke, Roadblock, Lady Jay and Flint – who we quickly learn has quite a sense of humor – are all there, using advanced technological weaponry and lots of cunning. One of the other things we notice, is that a decent amount of the cast has been replaced with other actors. First red flag goes up there, I don't like that whatsoever because the first film – The Rise of Cobra – had a huge audience of devoted fans who saw those roles played by certain people and like myself they expect continuity. In all honesty, only maybe 4 original actors/actresses from TroC are the same in Retaliation (Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, Duke and Zartan that I noticed). I was intrigued by the story though, so I kept watching. We did pay to see it after all, no turning back now.

Almost immediately after that opening sequence, my stomach turned. As I've said, continuity is a major issue for me in just about everything, especially movies. The opening credits part of the film began and while I was all “cool!” from the 3D fx of all the nice digital this and that flying around, what they were explaining really ticked me off a lot. I am not joking, so prepare yourself here... Between the first and second movies, roughly an entire movie's-worth, or a couple of TV seasons-worth, of content has simply just been tossed to the wayside, years have passed and it's all casually tucked in a drawer like it's nothing. I mean seriously, with what all they explain, an entire film, 2 television show seasons and even a few years of comics could have all been slapped together and explained ALL of it!!!

The entire film is full of action, drama and humor, but honestly it felt rushed to me. There was a bit too much going on and being skimmed over lightly, it easily could have been split into at least two separate movies rather than just one. One of the few things I did like was to see more Joes and Cobras brought into the mix, however with them focusing heavily on how the Arashikage were mixed up in the primary situation and plot (and somehow a key member of the Arashikage in the previous iterations of G.I. Joe shows up and yet doesn't appear to have anything to do with them whatsoever in this movie – say what?!), it greatly takes away any real creativity of the film.

Another thing to note, is that although the film is RealD 3D, it heavily used the overlay 3D effect, which is when the movie itself is 2D, yet uses 3D FX over the top of it, but only in certain areas of the screen. For example, if yuou took off the 3D glasses, you would notice that the movie itself is like normal, but the flashy credits, flying objects in explosions, etc. are wavy and blurry. From the other RealD 3D films I've seen, this is a cop-out to me and really doesn't give me my money's-worth to be honest. When I went to see Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (which I've also reviewed) in RealD 3D, I was actually pretty amazed at how they used it to their advantage, adding depth of field, immersion, etc. This film, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, left me feeling a bit jipped because of that. Call me spoiled, but once you have something to compare it to, you really do see it.

Overall, the actual 3D fx were decent, but I really would have preferred them used in the entirety of the film. There are some scenes, the Snake-Eyes Vs. Storm Shadow one in particular, where the screen is difficult to watch due to blur, as if the movie was filmed at a higher speed than the projector would actually refresh at. The scene where Snake-Eyes and Jinx were fighting the Cobra Ninjas on the mountainside, admittedly it was pretty nice, but it felt too average visually (no depth-of-field distinction, etc.). Quite an opportunity was missed there, clearly. I'd also have liked to have seen some additional notable characters lingering about, supporting characters if you will. It would have made for some of the depth and immersion in the story to be made up for. Then again, I'd also have liked for this film to have actually had some depth to it, a real hook-you-in story, and for it to have not left the same taste in my mouth as a can of 6-month-old flat cola.

I am thoroughly disappointed in the film and would say if you can find it at your local cheap-o/dollar theatre, it's worth watching there, but no way would I pay full theatrical price to see it again. Hasbro has some serious making up to do with us fans, I do have to say, as does Paramount. Go see it if you must, but even my 9-year-old son – who loves G.I. Joe as much as I do – was sorely disappointed in it. We might pick it up in the $5 Value Bin at Walmart one day, but certainly won't bother to touch it at any price above that.

Story: 4/10

Dialogue: 6/10

Continuity: 2/10

Overall: 4/10

This article copyright 2013 Ronald H. Smith, all images are property 2013 of Paramount Pictures, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Skydance Productions, Hasbro and Di Bonaventura Pictures.  G.I. Joe is a registered trademark of Hasbro, all rights reserved.